


Christmassy Drabble Tree, Part Two

by cazflibs, Janamelie, kronette, notalwaysweak, Tronella



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8954359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/pseuds/cazflibs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette, https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/notalwaysweak, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tronella/pseuds/Tronella
Summary: A second collection of Christmas themed mini-fics from the archives of Red Dwarf Slash on LiveJournal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The way this works is that one person posts a drabble (about 100 words; it doesn't have to be exact) and the next person takes a line from that and uses it in their own drabble.
> 
> So this isn't one story, but several. The chapter titles indicate the line which inspired the next drabble.
> 
> Check the note at the start of each chapter for its author. I (Janamelie) only wrote Chapter 6, but I uploaded the whole thing and AO3 won't let me take my name off the other chapters for some reason. If anyone knows how, do tell. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Cazflibs.

Rimmer tossed the napkin onto the table, his stomach having thrown in the towel long ago.

“That has to be Kryten’s best Christmas lunch yet.” He picked at his teeth warily. “Although I hope that wasn’t space weevil in the stuffing – “

Lister grabbed the whipped cream from the table. “I told Kryten we’d head back to our quarters for puddin’,” he smirked.

Rimmed frowned, confused, as he strode purposefully to the doorway. “Er - Lister?” he called. “You’ve forgotten the mince pies.”

The tone said it all. “We don’t _need_ mince pies.”

“Oh?” The hologram blinked. _“Ohhh.”_


	2. "Rimmer frowned, confused, as he strode purposefully to the doorway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Tronella.

Rimmer frowned, confused, as he strode purposefully to the doorway. For once he'd made it to his father's psychology class on time - with a full two minutes to spare, even - and that baboon-faced four-eyes who always sat next to him was loitering at the entrance to the classroom, looking bashfully in his direction. 

Something green caught his eye as he pushed past her into the room, and he looked back to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the lintel. The arrival of Lecturer Rimmer sent her scurrying to her desk. Rimmer wondered who she'd been waiting for.


	3. "...with a full two minutes to spare, even.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Cazflibs.

Rimmer couldn't believe it. He'd attempted it so many times but maybe, just _maybe _this time he'd cracked it.__

He'd finished - with a full two minutes to spare, even. His nostrils flared as wide as his smug, self-satisfied grin. Time-keeping was a most officer-like trait.

Lister's head peered out from under the bedsheet, mouth slick. "Tell me you're not sticking to your timetable even for sex?"

Rimmer checked off mentally. _22:00 - sexual interlude. 22:12 - continue wrapping Christmas presents. _After all, the big day waited for no man.__


	4. "Lister's head peered out from under the bedsheet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Notalwaysweak.

Lister's head peered out from under the bedsheet. Rimmer quite vocally hated Christmas, and so the fact that there was a definite amount of bell jingling happening two feet from his head was an aberration.

“What?”

“It’s Christmas,” Rimmer announced.

“You hate Christmas.”

“But _you _don’t. And look, you’re awake now.”__

__“Don’t tell me you actually got me a present.” Lister wasn't awake enough for this._ _

__“Try opening your eyes.”_ _

__Lister prised his eyes open enough to see Rimmer, and then they snapped open all the way. Well. That was certainly a novel use of a Christmas bow and bells._ _


	5. "The tone said it all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Notalwaysweak.

The tone said it all. “Yes, Dave Lister, most definitely on the naughty list this year... as usual. I’m not even going to pretend to be surprised.”

“Thank smeg you’re not wearin’ a Santa costume.”

Rimmer clicked his fingers and his red uniform appeared. “How about this?”

“Very nice,” Lister agreed, trying to pretend he wasn’t noticing the way Rimmer’s trousers were clinging extra snugly to his arse.

Rimmer sat down on the edge of their bunk and patted his lap. “Come lie across here. In the absence of coal for your stocking, I need to punish you another way...”


	6. "Rimmer couldn't believe it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Janamelie.

Rimmer couldn't believe it.

He stared down at the contents of the deep red and gold Christmas paper: _Reggie Wilson - The Definitive Boxset _.__

__"It's even got the live cassette of his only Titan concert! Do you know how rare that is? Where on Io did you get this?"_ _

__Lister grinned proudly. "Found it on that last derelict. Thought I'd save it for today."_ _

__If he'd known just how grateful the hologram would be, he reflected later in bed, he probably wouldn't have._ _


	7. "Found it on that last derelict."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Notalwaysweak.

“Where on Io did you find eggnog?”

“Found it on that last derelict.” Lister poured a healthy dollop of brandy into his glass and then tilted the bottle over Rimmer’s glass until the hologram made a sort of “Nnnneh” noise, then stopped.

“This had better still be good.”

“It was freeze-dried. I reconstituted it with real water they had on board, too, not recyc.”

Rimmer took a sip. “This isn’t bad. Did you find anything else?”

Lister’s eyes silently drifted upwards to where a sprig of mistletoe hung over the table.

The gap between them closed faster than he’d expected.


	8. "Rimmer tossed the napkin onto the table, his stomach having thrown in the towel long ago."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Kronette.

Rimmer tossed the napkin onto the table, his stomach having thrown in the towel long ago. Lister had attempted Christmas dinner - _attempted _\- for the last time.__

"Listy," Rimmer declared, "I will do _anything _to not have to eat that slop again."__

Lister's interested eyebrow went up. _"Anything?" ___

Rimmer licked his lips and confirmed with a twinkle in his eye, " _Any _thing."__

Lister slouched in his chair in invitation. "Tell Father Christmas what a bad boy you've been this year?" 

Rimmer stood and straddled Lister's lap. "Oh, I've been very naughty, but not as bad as you, thank smeg."


	9. "Rimmer stood and straddled Lister's lap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Notalwaysweak.

Rimmer stood and straddled Lister's lap. “How long after dinner do you think we should wait before we have pudding?” he asked, almost sounding sincere. “Because we should give our stomachs time to digest.”

“It feels more like you want to exercise dinner off,” Lister said, sliding his hands along Rimmer’s thighs and pulling him closer. Rimmer wriggled, pleased.

“And so what if I do?”

The question was met with a kiss, and not much later they were on their bunk, where Lister found an alternative use for the brandied whipped cream that was supposed to go on the pudding.


	10. "And so what if I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by Kronette.

“And so what if I do?”

Rimmer sighed. "Listy, the last thing we need is to invite unwanted guests. Or do you _want _to spend Christmas in a duel across time and space?"__

__Lister kissed him softly. "For me. Please?"_ _

__Rimmer couldn't keep up the annoyed act with Lister's eyes shining like that. "Fine. Hang your smegging stocking. See if Father Christmas visits."_ _

__Once Lister was asleep, Rimmer slipped out of their bed. Retrieving the presents he'd accumulated, he filled Lister's stocking and crept back to bed._ _

__In the morning, two stockings were full, and both were shocked._ _


End file.
